Passionate Housewives: Chapter 5 Questions

OK, so I did begin this post on Monday, though by the time most of you will see it it will actually be Tuesday. :o) This chapter hits close to home and was a wonderful encouragement to me this week.
Please feel free to post questions and comments throughout the next two weeks as we look at Freedom from the Bondage of Perfection.


How can we avoid falling into the trap of perfectionism and comparing ourselves with others?

Jennie says, "At its heart, perfectionism is sinful pride." What other causes may contribute to a battle with perfectionism?

How can we still reflect God's glory and grace in our homes and lives without striving to live up to impossible standards?

Do your 'to-do' lists and schedules reflect a desire to be a help-meet to your husband or to accomplish unrealistic goals you have set for yourself and maybe even your children and family? Ask your husband this week what he desires for you to accomplish and for his help in striking a balance if you struggle in this area.

"God gets all the glory when weak and frail sinners succeed." While still striving to honor God and work heartily as unto the Lord, how can we live with humility and transparency and extend grace to others?

Resuming Passionate Housewives Discussion

Dear Friends,

Last winter we began a discussion through the excellent book, Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Stacy McDonald and Jennie Chancey.  An extremely busy spring and summer derailed my ability to continue posting and responding to the questions, but things have calmed down and we're ready to resume. :o)  I'd like to take the discussion a little slower this time to allow us as busy moms to really have the time to read, absorb and respond to each chapter. I know personally one week goes by so quickly I can hardly believe it's time to post the next section. :o)

So, please take this next week to review the guidelines and the first four chapters and feel free to interact with the questions and responses that were posted there when last winter when we began the discussion. You can find all of the previous posts here.  Next Monday, October 10th, we'll begin by posting questions for chapter 5 here at www.thewintonfamily.com that you can read and think about through the next two weeks and respond to at your leisure. This is an open discussion, so please feel free to invite your friends. Anyone who is willing to comply with the guidelines is welcome to join us. We look forward to continuing this edifying and encouraging discussion as we seek to honor the Lord in the important task He has called us to in His Word; being keepers at home.

A Poem, A Prayer

I've been reading The Best Loved Poems of the American People and came across this encouraging poem.  I sent it to a friend but thought I'd share it here so others might be encouraged as well.

Blessings,
Lisa

 
A Prayer

Let me do my work each day;
And if the darkened hours of despair overcome me,
May I not forget the strength that comforted me
In the desolation of other times.
May I still remember the bright hours that found me
Walking over the silent hills of my childhood,
Or dreaming on the margin of the quiet river,
When a light glowed within me,
And I promised my God early to have courage
Amid the tempests of the changing years.
Spare me from bitterness
And from the sharp passions of unguarded moments.
May I not forget that poverty and riches are of the spirit.
Though the world know me not,
May my thoughts and actions be such
As shall keep me friendly with myself.
Lift my eyes from the earth,
And let me not forget the uses of the stars.
Forbid that I should judge others,
Lest I condemn myself.
Let me not follow the clamor of the world,
But walk calmly in my path.
Give me a few friends who will love me for what I am;
And keep ever burning before my vagrant steps
The kindly light of hope.
And though age and infirmity overtake me,
And I come not within sight of the castle of my dreams,
Teach me still to be thankful for life,
And for time's olden memories that are good and sweet;
And may the evening's twilight find me gentle still.

Max Ehrmann

If...

It's been quite a while since I've posted.  We're currently on tour with our family bluegrass band and have just completed two of our four-month journey.   I apologize that our book discussion was pre-empted by unexpected life happenings, but I hope to pick up where we left off in October and finish by the end of the year, so check back in the fall for updated information.

In the meantime, I've been trying to spend more time reading lately (something I love but have not been able to do as much the past few years) and while refreshing my mind with some worthy poetry came across this, an old favorite of mine I've read aloud to my sons many times.  Enjoy.

If you can keep your head when all about you,
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise.

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster,
And treat those two impostors just the same,

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken,

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings,

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings
,
And never breathe a word about your loss;,
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
,
To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you,

Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!.'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' 
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,

if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute,

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Passionate Housewives: Chapter 4 Questions

Here are the excellent questions that Carmon wrote for chapter 4.  Please feel free to respond to any of them, ask your own questions, or share with us what the Lord is teaching you!


What ways do you find to get the spiritual refreshment you need and time for Bible reading and prayer? How do you include your children in this?

What "season of life" are you in? Does it help to think of your life in these terms as you determine what is reasonable to accomplish?

Are there times when you have seen God's strength displayed in your weakness?

Do you have too many activities cluttering up your schedule? How can you reorganize things to set priorities in order and reduce the level of stress in your home?

Are there areas of pride in your life where you focus too much on your own accomplishments and look down on others who don't measure up to your standards? Has God ever humbled you in this area?

What are some of the "small" things in life that are weighing you down, cares that you need to cast on Him?


Carmon and Lisa

Passionate Housewives: Chapter 3 Questions

Wasn't that an encouraging chapter?  We look forward to more comments and questions as we get further into the study.  Don't be shy, please feel free (if you're following the guidelines) to join in!



According to Martin Luther's quote at the beginning of the chapter, on what basis is our homemaking calling of great worth?

In what ways do mothers make idols out of their children?

How can we support and encourage our daughters toward desiring being a wife and mother? Are there ways we are passing on a feminist vision to our daughters regarding their future goals?

How can we be involved in church ministry while not forsaking the ministry to our own families?

Looking at Doug Phillips's seven culture-transforming missions of the home, what ideas do you have for ways your household could be productively involved in furthering God's kingdom?

What are some ways the privilege of childbearing can affect the culture around us?

In what ways is your family culture unique? How can you continue to build a family culture that brings glory to God?


Carmon and Lisa

Passionate Housewives: Chapter Two Questions

These questions are intended to help you think through what you are reading in the book and encourage a discussion here. You are welcome to chime in on any or all of these topics which are taken from chapter two. Lisa and I will also be commenting to help get the ball rolling, although today has been a bit busy for both of us in real life. We have all week to talk about these things!

I will also be making some recommendations of other resources to help you persevere in this wonderful calling.

~Carmon

What are some resources you turn to for encouragement when you are facing trials or discouragement?

How have you sometimes stubbornly set up a standoff situation in your home: "I'm not budging till he does what HE is supposed to do?" What if everybody did this?

What non-essential things do you sometimes treat as essential to your happiness?

In what ways has your homemaking job given you opportunities to become more mature in your faith?

What are the difficulties and the benefits of being a mother of "homegrown children"?

In what ways have you learned to embrace paradox in your life?

Passionate Housewives: Chapter One Questions

Here are the questions for chapter one.  Carmon and I will both be posting notes in the comments section as we have time, but feel free to respond to the questions as you feel led.

~Lisa

There is a perception in many circles that the life of a homemaker is a kind of "slavery." In what ways is the homemaker actually enjoy MORE freedom than a woman who works outside the home?

In the preface, what are some the things Stacy says a homemaker is NOT? Can you think of any more?

How has your life been affected by "Me-ology"?

Passionate Housewives: Guidelines for Participation

Welcome to the book discussion for Passionate Housewives Desperate for God! We want to give you a few guidelines for participation and introduce ourselves before the discussion begins.

1.  Anyone is welcome to log in and read the posts and comments, but only participants who have read the assigned chapters should comment on the posts.

2.  Please keep comments on-topic with the discussion questions and interact with items being discussed. Comments will be moderated, and anyone not reading the chapters, doing fly-by negative commenting, or taking rabbit trails off-topic will have their comments deleted. We do welcome genuine questions!

3.  Next Tuesday, February 15th, Carmon and I will post our notes for the introductions, and chapters 1 and 2. From then on, we will be reading and discussing one chapter per week.  Feel free to drop by the blog throughout the week as you have time to read the posts and participate in the discussion.

We thought you would enjoy hearing a little about us since we will be leading the discussions. We look forward to the discussion and pray it would be a profitable and fruitful time for everyone involved.

Sincerely,

Carmon and Lisa

Passionate Housewives: Introduction from Lisa

Hmmm. How do I top that introduction? I am glad Carmon wrote hers first, because unlike Carmon I don't have a wonderful way with words. Now I can copy her format and appear to have a little more prowess with the pen than I really have. ;o) In fact, after I finish writing mine, it will be the edited version Carmon has polished up for me that you will read.

Randy and I just celebrated our 22nd anniversary in January, and we have served in a ministry/pastoral capacity during 16 of those years. We have two older sons who are nearing 17 and 19, and two small daughters whom the Lord sovereignly gave us through adoption. They are about to turn three and five. We currently reside somewhere within a 200-mile range in northern California depending on the circumstances. We spent five months of 2010 in an RV on a 20,000-mile music tour with our family bluegrass band, The Wintons. Though the majority of my time is spent caring for the needs of our household and two little daughters, one of whom has serious special needs, I also help my husband and sons with our music ministry, online entrepreneurial website, and more recently the early stages of work on our family’s upcoming film about adoption, “Rescued.”

Despite my writing challenges, I am also journaling God’s amazing providences in our life so that in the future, if the Lord wills and time allows, I can write them in a coherent way in order to be a testimony of the graciousness of God for other women to read and hopefully be encouraged. Like Carmon, I am an also avid reader and love many of the classics, enjoy classical art, classical music, and old classic movies. (Are you seeing a theme here?)

Unlike Carmon, many of the biblical convictions that we now hold have not been in place since the beginning of our marriage. Cody and Jesse went to a private Christian school through first and third grade, and though at that point we took them out to homeschool them, it was more from a 'this is best for them” perspective rather than “this is what we believe is our biblical responsibility.” Now we do hold that conviction on the education of Christian children. In many cases in our lives, the Lord has led us in a direction from circumstances only to bring us to a solid conviction in His Word at a later time.

I worked outside the home part-time throughout junior high and high school, and began working full-time during my senior year of high school, continuing after our marriage until I became pregnant with Cody. At that point we were in an awkward financial situation, and had it not been the gift of God to make me so ill during my pregnancy that I could not work, though I always felt strongly that it was a good thing for moms to stay home with their children, we would likely have felt I had no choice but to continue working full-time and find child care for Cody after he arrived. I worked part-time outside the home throughout the boys’ early years, in food service and retail during Randy's hours home so he could be with them, and continued for many years to do whatever I could from our home as well to bring in income which included a myriad of different enterprises which were more biblically in line with a Proverbs 31 attempt to be a helpmate to my husband from our home.

Like Carmon pointed out, this is a difficult topic to discuss without stepping on toes. I know I've stepped on many, and I am still learning how to share with others what the Lord has shown us in His word with grace and humility. This discussion was actually birthed because I inadvertently offended several dear friends when I posted a blatantly anti-radical feminist quote on Facebook that unintentionally offended Christian women employed outside their homes. I hope that as we look at the word of God as our only standard of life and wrestle with these issues, that other women will be encouraged to see God's wonderful design for women working at home as His clear calling. We hope to show you in His Word the beautiful picture of industry and source of ministry to our families, communities, the church, and the world that a contented woman fulfilling her Titus 2 calling can be.

God in His infinite grace has also allowed me to go through many difficult trials since Christ called me as His own at fifteen, refining me and teaching me many things through his gift of suffering. Two serious accidents and debilitating pregnancies put me in bed or on the couch in pain for many long months that add up to years, along with two full years of physical therapy. Depression, church difficulties, financial struggles, my husband’s diagnosis of MS two years ago, extreme chemical sensitivities, two physically draining years of almost no sleep because of one of our daughter’s health issues and special needs, my own recent battles with early rheumatoid arthritis and just in the past month the diagnosis of both of my daughters with serious, potentially life-long medical issues have caused me to fall on my face at the throne asking for God’s grace and strength as I have come to the end of my own strength many times. His faithfulness, the kindness of brothers and sisters in Christ, a husband who loves the Word and is willing to submit to the Lord at any cost, and sons who have been continual servants and ministers of God’s grace in dark times have been pictures to me of the sufficiency of His grace and the love of God in action. When we are weak He truly is strong, and that becomes clearer to me each day and with every breath.

As we come here to reason together, to encourage each other as sisters in Christ to seek Him in faith and His word alone for answers, may our speech be full of grace, seasoned as it were with salt, and when God opens the way and reveals His truth to us, may we be willing then to apply it to our lives for the glory of God whatever the consequences may be, trusting that He is sovereign and will direct our steps.

In Christ,

Lisa